Saying Good-bye

I am fully convinced that there will ever be few gifts in this life that are more precious and for which I more thankful for than the opportunity we had this past week - to say good-bye to Grandma Kooi. If it were up to me and my perfect plans, we wouldn’t have made it. Grandma was diagnosed a week and a half ago and told she may live a year, maybe a month. After checking flights and schedules we opted to wait a few weeks to see her but then for a variety of reasons we changed our minds and in an hour’s time packed clothes and kids and got on I-90 East to Edgerton, Minnesota. It was a very quick decision God knew all about and one Ross and I will never regret.

Ross and I have never lost a grandparent. The eight originals have been with us our entire lives and so as we drove we thought about what it meant to say good-bye. It’s amazing how we take the presence of the people in our lives, particularly the constants who have been there for years, for granted. While we understand mortality superficially, we somehow think because they have always been there, they always will be. But they won’t.

Particularly, we thought about Grandma Kooi - her fabulous personality, her chipper spirit, her great faith, her servant’s heart, her spry smile. How do you say good-bye to someone who holds so many places in your heart? We had never done this before and we were sad, a little scared and at a loss for words.

Most people don’t get the opportunity to say good-bye and I am forever grateful that we did. But even more than goodbye we were able to say thank-you. Thank-you for your prayers when we didn’t even know you were praying. Thank-you for aging with grace, never losing that smile that is permanently etched in so many minds. Thank-you for showing selflessness and serving others, near and far. Thank-you for choosing love, even when it wasn’t easy. Thank-you for loving Christ and living your life to show others what that means. Thank-you for raising a family that fears God, that supports one another, that knows how to have a good time. Thank-you for remembering how to laugh. Thank-you for baking. Thank-you for not only caring, but making sure we knew you did. Thank-you for being a woman of integrity, a servant who gave, a mother who served, an honorable wife, a loyal friend, and all the grandmother a grandchild could ever wish for.

Grandma Kooi wasn’t really even my Grandma, she was Ross’s. But that didn’t matter to me and I don’t think it mattered to her either. She loved easily and she was easy to love. She was amazing in life – a joy, a treasure - but she has been even more exemplary in death. Even as her days were ending she chose to teach her children, her grandchildren and all those who loved her yet one more lesson. She taught us how to know your Savior with complete confidence, to stare at death fearlessly, to rest assured in the very faith she lived for – all this a final and lasting gift she purposely chose to give. She was dignified in both life and death and my life is changed because I knew her, was apart of her family, a witness to her bravery.

This morning Grandma Kooi met Jesus. Only a week ago she dined with every one of her 6 children, 20 grandchildren and dozens of great-grandchildren. In the days that followed she was able to tell each and every one of them exactly what they meant to her and they did the same. Her time here came to an end quickly and painlessly with all four of her daughters at her side as she took her last breath. Grandma Kooi honored God her entire life and God chose to honor her in death.

It is not easy to say good-bye to such a beautiful woman, a woman I aspire to be. I have been blessed to see what God can do with a single life. So even as we cry, in our hearts we smile because it could not have ended more beautifully and we have no doubts about where Grandma is right now. I could not ask for anything more.