Taking on Titles

From before we are even born we seem to start collecting titles – daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece. They accumulate without us even realizing it and as we age we seem to just keep on accruing them.

Some come and go with the passing of time – teenager left me over a decade ago – and some, such as sister-in-law, have been marked with great fanfare and celebration and become permanent additions to the list.

While many of these titles are given without entitlement, a few, such as friend, are earned in time, in smiles, in tears.

There are also a few we work very hard for – student, graduate, alumnus – and, at least while they are shiny and new, are a source of pride and accomplishment.

And then there are the titles for which there is hardly a comparison, the simple sound of which induces pride, belonging, love – wife, mommy.

Last week I took on a new title - as in employee, or more accurately, Human Resource Project Manager. Another title to add to the pack and one I approach hesitantly, with cautious optimism.

For almost 5 years now I have championed the job of stay-at-home mom, one solely devoted to the proper care and feeding of the little people God has so richly blessed me with. While I was never the girl who dreamed of being a stay at home mom, I have taken on the task full heartedly and every day – okay, almost everyday – counted it as a divine blessing to have such an opportunity.

As I see Tyler quickly approaching his 5th birthday I have watched my term as a stay-at-homer, which originally felt like a life sentence, more accurately as stage of life – a phase that fades away seemingly as quickly as it came.

The greatest part of this newest title and opportunity is that it does not necessarily negate any of the prior titles. I have agreed to work a whopping 10 hours a week – at least half of which will be from home. On one hand, I cannot stop thanking God for this fabulous opportunity – to have such a great work schedule, to be employed by fabulous people, to utilize the degree I worked so hard for, to have a hugely supportive husband who will make adjustments to his schedule in order to accommodate mine, to be compensated competitively, to set in motion the groundwork for a rewarding career after my little ones aren’t so little anymore.

But on the other hand, I would be kidding myself if I thought that the energy expended outside my home and family would go unnoticed. There is a limited supply and it has to come from somewhere.

I will be the first to admit that I am an excitable girl. I like to dive in headfirst and jump on bandwagons and rally the troops. But the truth is, while I do see the new title as God’s leading in my life, I am trying my very best to stay grounded, never forgetting where my true priorities lie. Because, at the end of the day, it will always be the titles of mommy and wife that matter to me most.

You're Welcome Future Mrs. Westenberg, You're Welcome

The steam is building, I can feel it. Christmas is coming. Coming in the ads in the Sunday paper, coming in the catalogues delivered by the mail lady, coming in the Christmas songs that my kids and I can be seen dancing around the house to more often than I am ready to admit. It’s true. Around here, we…love…Christmas!

We love that it’s Jesus’ birthday and we love Christmas trees. We love snowflakes and snowmen and we love Christmas cookies. We love advent calendars and we love family traditions. We love our new nativity and we love stockings. Oh, and do we ever love ornaments – lots and lots of ornaments and lights and ribbon and wreaths and candles and Christmas stories and Christmas movies and gingerbread houses. Oh yes, we. love. Christmas.

But with all of the splendor of Christmas – not to mention my own childlike excitement – it’s important to me to reign in it just a bit for my kids, particularly Tyler since he is at a ripe age to hop on the runaway train of materialistic, greedy, Christmas consumerism. While I want him to experience all the joy and tradition that makes Christmas so wonderful, it is my priority to make sure that he is not so distracted by all of the glorious trimming and trappings of the holiday that he confuses, or even misses, the reason we celebrate.

He has heard the Christmas story – the story of Jesus’ birth – in board books, in Sunday School lessons, straight from the Bible and from various other sources for several years now and he can relay it back to us quite well. But this year, as the Christmas steam is building, I wanted to work more on the concept of giving rather than receiving.

With the gradual increase in toy ads, commercials and catalogues that have been floating around our home the list of “I wants” has been accumulating just as quickly. Imagine my delight yesterday when, after listing a few more “I wants” Tyler stopped and thoughtfully asked, “mommy, what could I get you for Christmas this year?” Sweet child, now we’re talking!

Wanting him to think a little harder I asked him if he could think of a nice gift for mommy. Immediately he spouted out “Mommy, I’ll get you a camera!” While that was a thoughtful idea, I reminded him that was what he and Daddy and Bailey got me for my birthday. After a longer pause, the churning in his mind evident on his face, his eyes sparkled with pride and he proclaimed, “mommy, I know the perfect present for you.” I waited anxiously, quite interested in what my little boy would think the perfect gift for his mother. It was then that he exclaimed, “a brand, new vacuum cleaner!”

Oh, the horror! While I was busy worrying about consumerism and materialism and other isms, my dear son was busy thinking that a home appliance was a suitable – no, perfect – gift for a woman you love. Wow, time to re-focus. For the sake of his future wife, I must eradicate such thinking immediately. Well…unless, of course, he was thinking of a Dyson…I may very well be able to appreciate the gift of a Dyson.

Steal of a Deal - Round 1

In light of my newest addiction - coupons - I thought I would share my favorite "steal of a deal" for the week.



I just got the Fiesta Foods ad in my newspaper this morning and there is a bright and shiny (well as bright and shiny as newsprint can be anyway) coupon for toilet paper - 24 rolls (or 12 jumbo rolls) of Angel Soft for $2.99 to be exact. When I was at Wal-Mart this morning to pick up a few items I chose not to buy on my Tri-Cities run yesterday, I noticed that 24 rolls of Angel Soft is $6.52 there. That's a savings of $3.53 per package right out of the chute. But wait it gets better...



If you skip on over to Angelsoft.com they have a coupon for $.50 off any pack of TP 6 rolls or larger. So, if you print that coupon (print it 4 times, I'll explain later) we are down another $.50 per pack.



Next, grab 2 packages of toilet paper at Wal-Mart (that's the ad limit), show them the Fiesta Foods ad and hand them 2 printed coupons. The best part is THEY DON"T TAKE YOUR FIESTA FOODS AD!!! Then run over to Fiesta Foods and hand them their in ad coupon, plus two more you printed online and BOOM you just saved yourself $16.12...on toilet paper of all things...the stuff you use regularly and were going to have to buy anway..forever! Isn't this fun?



Now if you want to have a little more fun, while you're at it take advantage of the killer Yoplait sale that Fiesta Foods has as well. First, print out 2 - $.50 off 6 coupons at coupons.com. Then pick out 6 yogurts, show the ad and give them a coupon at Wal-Mart which saves you $2.66. Head over to Fiesta grab 6 yogurts and give them your other coupon and save $2.66 all over again.



Wow, look at that, with just a little extra planning and one extra stop you got yourself a couple months supply of toilet paper, a dozen yogurts and you saved $21.44 off Wal-Mart prices!!! I don't know exactly how many Pumpkin Lattes that will buy me at Starbucks....but I may just find out! :)

A new challenge

So for me, it’s kind of been about climbing mountains lately. After weeks of preparing for the half-marathon, I climbed that mountain and then after weeks of preparing to speak at the women’s retreat, I climbed that mountain the following week. Feeling slightly taxed from the nerves and time and endurance not to mention the physical and mental and spiritual commitment necessary to complete these tasks I purposely decided I was going to sit this week out. I wasn’t going to run – much. I wasn’t going to study the Bible – much. I fully intended to waste nap times and early bedtimes reading a cheap novel and eating ice cream. Now isn’t that a goal to be proud of? Not so much, but I may as well be honest.

While I have enjoyed the more relaxed pace of this week I also know that I am genetically wired to love a good challenge. I get bored with the seemingly mundane tasks of life pretty quickly if I don’t have an underlying project or goal to plan or work on. And really, who doesn’t like having something to be excited about, right? So, let me introduce you to my newest challenge……drum roll please…….coupons!

Yup, that’s it coupons! Fun, fun, fun! For the first time in our married lives Ross and I have decided to set up a budget. And, thankfully, since we both have always viewed money pretty similarly that doesn’t mean too many changes to our spending habits but I have noticed one huge area that I could rein in – groceries. I am too embarrassed to even state the sum we arrived at when adding up last month’s debits for groceries, but the bright side – very, very bright side – is that anything I do to cut corners this month is going to look just wonderful! Yea for that!

So besides a small trip to Wal-mart last week today was my first-ever serious coupon clipping day. Look what I got for less than $39! Total savings $85.36!!! And I even missed $3 in coupons that I could have used.



So far I am just loving this challenge! I have a long way to go to catch up with my coupon hero over at fistfulofcoupons.com but it’s a new way of thinking for me. It takes a little more planning and I am still feeling the learning curve but saving that much money is plain fun too me. I just can’t wait until next week so I can do it again!

The Running Bug

So this is the weekend I have been waiting for. Well, one of them anyway. As of tomorrow, the training will be done. 14 weeks gone; 13.1 miles ahead. That’s right, this weekend I will enter my first ever half-marathon. What, you didn’t know I was a runner? Well, that’s because I wasn’t and I’m not and I may never be, naturally, but I am always a girl who loves a good challenge and this time, the challenge comes in the form of a 13.1 mile run.

While in retrospect it’s easy to get romantic and sentimental about the training process, the truth is that it’s tough. It’s aches and pains, loss of sleep and time away from the family. Physically, it is one of the tougher things I have ever done but, at the same time, it’s been one of the most rewarding. Rewarding when I look in the mirror, rewarding when I add up the miles, rewarding when I realize it’s almost over. Hallelujah for that!

I think the most amazing part of this whole adventure though has been realizing that, little by little, it is possible to do things that you thought were totally out of your league. And in the end, it may not even be nearly as difficult as you imagined. I am now fully convinced that anyone who is physically able (and by that I do not even mean in good shape – just able) can run a half-marathon. Seriously. This coming from the girl who a few short months ago thought 2 mile jogs would be her lifetime capacity. Funny what a couple months of running can do to you.

What’s more? It’s contagious. My mother-in-law started it and I got a couple of friends to jump on board with me. Slowly but surely another one came along and after a little more prodding I have even got my own hubby out there pounding the pavement. Why? Because it’s fun, it’s free, it’s good for you and, well, it’s contagious. Just beware…the bug may be headed your way next!

Anyone got some Elmer's?

So out of the dust and ashes I took time to throw together a post today and wouldn't you know that Blogger isn't letting me use the paste function? What's up with that? I can copy from Word but I can't paste. Ugh! If anyone has an idea...or some glue...let me know. :)

Growing Pains

I’ve known for some time that it was going to happen, years actually, but none of that seems to matter now. It’s not like it snuck up on me or surprised me or came without warning, it came every bit as expected yet nothing like I expected at the very same time.

It’s been brewing for awhile now, I guess. The little boy who was all mine, who was, just a few short years ago, a baby who wanted nothing but mommy, the toddler whose owies, whose fears, whose needs, who demands all warranted instinctive cries for mommy is now a little boy. I started to really notice it several months ago when many of the cries for “mommy” somehow changed to “daddy”. In the evening, on the weekend, even in the middle night, it’s usually “daddy” now.

This afternoon he is playing at friend’s house. Not being babysat by a friend’s mom, not being watched while mommy goes to the dentist or a doctor’s appointment, simply playing at a friend’s house because he wants to. That’s a first.

Next Friday he starts pre-school. Another first. Two and a half hours every other day away. Away from mom, away from home. It’s strange to physically see him go from being Ross and Katie’s son to really becoming Tyler. A little boy, operating independent of his parents, becoming responsible for his own actions, forming his own identity.

I have heard it said that having a child is like having a piece of your heart walking around outside your body and I get that, I just didn’t know what it would feel like to not have that piece walking right beside you, holding your hand, under your careful eye and in your constant care. As excited as I am for him to learn and grow and try new things, I can’t help but feel like I am beginning to lose something that I have nurtured and protected and guarded nearly every hour of every day for the past 4 years. I am not really sure how you just put a backpack on that and walk away.

At the same time that my stomach does flips over all these changes, I find it all quite silly. Kids start pre-school all the time, sappy moms cry, life goes on and kids grow up. But all of those others moms, they weren’t me. And all of those other kids, they weren’t mine. I guess it’s kind of like getting pregnant, you can prepare for the baby, you can plan for it, you can talk to all of your friends about it and gather all of the advice that’s out there, but until you are there, having that baby or watching that piece of your heart walk away – even if just for a few hours at a time – you will never really know what it’s like. And, what’s more, once you do, there is no going back.

So in a few weeks I may be over it and thanking God for a few precious hours alone with my baby girl, a couple of hours with a quieter house, at least half a day with 50% fewer tornados messing up the house, but for now, well, it just feels a little sad.