Great Expectations...Part 2

So although our night with the dinosaurs wasn’t every thing I dreamed of and I was kind of bummed that the evening didn’t have half the magic that I planned for it to have, by the next morning I was resigned to being thankful for what it was – time with Tyler, time with Ross and – good, bad or otherwise – a memorable experience. Contrast that with the events and expectations of the next day….

Earlier in the week we had learned that Ross’s maternal grandmother was diagnosed with cancer again and the prognosis was not good. Since the doctors thought she would be with us at least a little while longer, on Friday (dinosaur day) Ross and I passed up a great deal on next-day airline tickets in favor of flying out a few weeks later. Unfortunately, Grandma’s health seemed to decline by the hour and on Saturday every single one of her 20 grandchildren, amongst other family, made the decision to converge on Edgerton, Minnesota by Monday– every single grandchild except Ross, that is. We quickly re-checked airline tickets but the great deal from yesterday had not only evaporated but was now triple the price, meaning over two grand to get our family there. After running through our options Ross decided it would be best for him to just make the 22 hour drive alone. It wasn’t a decision either of us were particularly happy with or excited about, it just seemed like the most reasonable option available.

Ross slowly collected his necessities in a suitcase and loaded up his truck while I woke Tyler from his nap so we could explain to him that Daddy was going to be leaving for a few days. And that was all it took. One child, short on sleep, woken abruptly and told his daddy was leaving him behind. It was the kind of meltdown that cuts straight to the heart of parents. Not the “buy me this now!” kind of meltdown, but the “I love my daddy more than anything and cannot bear to be left behind” kind. Our house immediately turned into a whirlwind of excitement as we made a quick change of plans and gave ourselves one hour to pack clothes and kids and hit the road.

Now, let’s talk about expectations here. What exactly are your expectations when you have one hour to pack for a 4 day trip? How lovely do you expect 44 hours in the car to be? With a 4 year old? And a 10 month old? What about when 4 days turns into 9? You expect madness I tell you, absolute madness! You expect late nights and tired bums. Whining kids and tired parents. You expect too many stops at McDonald’s and everything to take longer than planned. You expect to have forgotten enough things to fill up an entire other suitcase. Whatever it is you expect, none of it exactly qualifies as a good time. Soon after hitting the road Tyler asked a question about this “vacation” we were on and I very carefully corrected him, “this is a roadtrip, Tyler, it should never, ever be confused with vacation”.

But the truth turned out to be quite the contrary. On a trip that was unplanned, unorganized, unbudgeted and probably a whole bunch of other “un” words, we actually got way more than we bargained for – more fun, more laughs, more memories, more smiles. Yes, there were late nights and plenty of forgotten items, but those hotel room hair dryers really aren’t half bad and with a little creativity we found there are a host of things in a hotel room that put our traditional bath toys to shame. What amazed me most was that, particularly for the kids, fun has nothing to do with cool bath toys or being organized anyway, it’s about doing something together. To them, home is family, home is us. And, as long as we were all together they were game for almost anything. The only time Tyler really cried on the whole trip was when we woke up in Missoula, Montana and told him, “Guess what, buddy, today we are going home”.

Most of all what I learned from this trip is that expectations are what you make of them. Sure it’s nice to plan and anticipate but there is so much value in learning to appreciate the situation, the moment, for what it is. They aren’t all perfect and they aren’t all pretty, but it’s life and each day offers an opportunity for us to enjoy, to learn, to grow. And even more, I have been blessed with 2 little people who are not only learning to enjoy their own moments as well, but carefully watching mommy to learn and understand how best to do just that. So, here’s to keeping expectations in perspective and doing my best to enjoy every curveball life throws at me. Hopefully, they won’t all involve a 3,000 mile roadtrip, but either way, I’m game.